Do you get angry? I mean drop-drown, storming around, red-eyed angry? I do. (Insert very embarrassed face.) But when I get angry, I kind of keep it to myself. I shove it deep down in my heart. I allow myself to have inward seething resentment. This is me in all my unrighteous anger "glory." This is not a good place to be. There are two types of anger: The ugly one I just described as unrighteous anger and the good anger, righteous anger. I'm learning to let go of the unrighteous to take on the righteous. Tomorrow we'll discuss the righteous kind. I know. It's kind of an oxymoron, righteous anger.
"And 'don’t sin by letting anger control you.' Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil...Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4: 26-27, 31-32
God knows we're human and that we're going to get angry. However, he wants us to deal with our anger much differently from the world. In verse 26 and 27 say that it's pretty much okay to be angry, BUT, not to hold onto it. Here Paul is describing the unrighteous anger. I, unfortunately, more often than not have this type of anger. I let it control me. I let the offense in my heart consume me. I'm ashamed to say that my unrighteous anger drags others down with me. I take the anger of the offense and I spew it on to others, hoping that they will agree with me in my anger. This anger is produced by my flesh and not by my God. This anger is very selfish as it is directed towards my own will, rather than God's.
I have been experiencing unrighteous anger towards my parents for so long. I didn't realize just how much anger I have towards them; how much bitterness (man, this is making me cringe) I have in my heart for the offenses I have had. <pause> I'M BECOMING MY MOTHER!! <shaking my head> Over the last couple of months I have been digging deep into my heart and head to purge myself of anger. My head is over the toilet and I'm just letting it go. I'm bringing it all up because it needs to get out so that I can heal. I cannot keep all this anger in my heart. I'm doing EXACTLY what my mom has been doing my entire life. Like the flu, in order to feel better, sometimes you just need to throw up. So I'm throwing up. I'm throwing up all the hurt and anger and I'm giving it to God (in the toilet) so He can flush it away. By the way, this is not my analogy, but I loved it so much, I'm using it. I need to sit down and write out my anger. I need to be honest with myself about how I really feel. Writing about this has been very therapeutic, so I'm hoping that by writing down my anger and then destroying it, I will be on my way to freedom. I feel that this will help me on my path to forgiveness.
Tomorrow I'll talk a little about the righteous anger I am seeking.