Lord, hear my cry.  Take my heart.  Mend it. Help me to forgive. Walk me through these words.
Well look at that.  I'm still breathing.  Thank you to everyone who sent a message and/or called to talk with me today.  This experience has shown me just how important community is in my life.  I love you all.

So what happened?  How did we end up like this? 
Grudges, hurt, anger. . .unforgiveness. 

Un-for-give-ness.  This is how it all started. 

My grandparents have been harboring hurt for far too many years.  I don't think they got the chance to heal from the death of their daughter, my mother.  She has been gone 20 years.  So if you think about it, there has been a lot of hurt that has been building upon that cornerstone. They have allowed any and all little grievances to find a way to embed themselves like splinters deep down in their hearts.  During our short conversation on Saturday, they could only reference the past hurt that I caused to them while in high school.  Those issues happened about 15 years ago.  My hurtful tongue wants to use hateful words.  And my heart wants to harbor anger for them being angry. 
But I REFUSE to be like them in that way.  I want to take the good qualities about them and incorporate those into my life.  I want to get rid of the poison that has been slowly killing our family.  I want to change what we've always thought was normal.  But I need to forgive as they have not forgiven.

God has gently whispered:  “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."  (Matthew 6:14-15)  Now THAT scares me.  My heavenly Father not forgiving me, quite frankly, scares the crap out of me.  But I'm NOT the heavenly Father.  Forgiveness does not come easily to me. 

So Lord, I pray that with your continued guidance, you will help me and my family learn to forgive. 
 


Comments




Leave a Reply