Please forgive me for forgetting to acknowledge the basis of the 31 days.  The Nester, every October, does a stint on 31 days of writing about anything that you want.  Please check out her 31 days (#13) here.


It's kind of funny how God talks to us. 

I've been trying to figure out what kind of relationship I truly want with my grandparents.  Last Wednesday I started writing a letter to them because I knew they were upset with me.  Well, I didn't really know it.  That has just been their M.O. for as long as I can remember:  Get angry, give me the silent treatment, Kate calls and asks how they're doing and life goes on.  Or so I thought.  So any way, I was sitting in my car listening to the radio waiting for Jada to finish up Cubbies for Awanas, when while I'm writing, this song came on.  Now if you're like me, you just sing to the song or listen, but not really know what you're saying or listening to.  At this particular moment, I dropped my pen to just listen.  God wanted to talk with me and I cranked up the music.
I can't believe what she said
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they
know it's wrong
Don't they know it's wrong
Well maybe there's something I
missed
But how could they treat me like this
It's wearing out my
heart
The way they disregard

This is love or this is hate.
We all
have a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them
They don't
know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh Father, give me grace to forgive
them
Cause I feel like the one losin'

Well it's only the dead that can
live
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that's mine
Seventy
times seven times
Cause Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind
eye
Though I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've
done.

This is love or this is hate.
We gotta a choice to
make

Oh Father won't You forgive them
They don't know what they've
been doin' (oh no)
Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel
like the one losin'

Why do we think that our hate's gonna break a hard
heart
We're rippin' arms over wars that don't need to be fought
Cause
pride wont let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up but
it's just to burn them down
We think our pain is own apologies and get them
to stop
Well truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Cause
freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of Your mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down

[X2]
Oh Father won't you forgive
them
They don't know what they've been doin'
Oh Father, give me grace to
forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin'
I feel like I've been
losing

Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the
one losin'
This song is very popular, but since Wednesday, I have heard it no less than twice a day on the radio and I only have the radio on to and from work.  The lyrics, it feels, like they were meant just for me.  God knows just what I need to hear.  And let me tell you, I just want to give thanks to HIM because I can't do this alone.  I also want to thank my husband, who has been a wonderful leader for this family.   He stood by my side during the altercation and continues to stick by me in love and support.  I am so blessed.

I didn't think forgiveness would come to me as eagerly as it has today.  And I'm talking about TRUE forgiveness.  The kind where you know it because it speaks to your very core.  Sure, I'm still mad as hell, but God has softened my heart for me.  My heart is malleable in His hands.  He has surrounded me with people who are letting me vent, but are also leading me down the path of forgiveness.  I can speak freely.  I am free to be me, which is a concept that I struggle with, but I don't have to worry about the outcome.  Since forgiveness doesn't roll off my tongue as easily as I would like it to,I'm glad I have my support team.

Community. . .It helps the forgiveness medicine go down.
 


Comments

10/03/2012 8:56pm

It's been a long time since my high school cheerleading days, but this post makes me wanna RAH! RAH! for you in the biggest way.

God is so good! Forgiveness is difficult... I don't think we're meant to do it alone. We need Him for true forgiveness. Well, at least, I do!

Reply
Kate
10/05/2012 3:41pm

Thanks for the chit-chat yesterday. Wish it could've been longer. You are an awesome woman and glad I can glean some of your awesomeness!

Reply



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