Please join me for the next 31 days and walk with me through the healing process.

The Nester, every October, does a stint on 31 days of writing about anything that you want.  Please check out all the amazing 31 Days stories.

"We've shared many smiles and many tears, but nothing beats the laughter!"
I called my friend and mentor to tell her what happened between me and my parents because I knew she would understand,.  She walked through it all with me in high school and I knew that I would find comfort in our conversation.  However, out of her mouth came something I DID NOT expect.

"What's going on?"
"My parents cut ties with us." (I'm sobbing buckets of tears. . .)
"BAH HA HA!" (Cue laughter for a few seconds.)

I was a little stunned.  It even caused me to pause ever so slightly.  I started thinking, "Did she HEAR what I said?  My parents NO LONGER want to have a relationship with me and my family!"

Um, yah.  She did hear me.  And yes, she did understand.  She understood so well because she went through a similar situation.

Throughout our conversation, she just kept chuckling.  I love that through the pain she could help me find the laughter within me.  For the last 16 years she has remained constant in who she is to me.  Nothing has waivered, not even a little bit.  We've had our share of ups and down while I was in high school, but she didn't love me any less.  Her love was not and is not conditional. 

"Katie," one of the few people who can call me by that name, "you cannot change them.  But what you can change are the tapes that they created that you continue to play in your head.  That's what you can change."

Her words of encouragement and her chuckles, even for those few minutes, were so precious to me.  When I felt like I wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces, she offered up her wisdom and experience.  Oh how it felt to laugh.  It felt so good. 

I find it strange that I can laugh at all.  I suppose it's my coping mechanism.  My drug of choice.  My temporary fix. 
"Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains." Proverbs 14:13
I don't want the grief to remain.  I need to learn to let go.

What do you have a hard time of letting go?
 


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