I can feel His nudges. I can sense His presence. But yet, I don't let Him take control. I've been trying for so long to have control over my life that it's been almost like an obession to see what "I" can make happen. I hear the words my husband speaks to me, "He's got it. He's in control." I nod my head in agreement, while I wonder, "What can I do?"
While looking into the story of Rachel and Jacob, I laughed a little at Rachel, but then sadly realized, I. Am. Rachel.
"When Rachel saw that she wasn't having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She pleaded with Jacob, 'Give me children, or I'll die!' Then Jacob became furious with Rachel. 'Am I God?' he asked. 'He's the one who has kept you from having children!' Then Rachel told him, 'Take my maid, Bilhah, and sleep with her. She will bear children for me, and through her I can have a family, too.'" Genesis 30: 1-3
I don't want to be a slave to the thoughts and opinions of the world. I NEED and WANT to rest in God's identity and seek His validation, not the validation of others.
Lord, thank you for showing me an area of opportunity; I know I have many. I ask for your forgiveness for not relying on you and trusting fully in you. Thank you for your loving and gentle Spirit. Guide me and help me to follow. Amen.