Savor 7 Blessings About My Husband
*He built a bunk bed for the kids so that they could be in the same room. They like to be together. It's too cute.
*He folded the laundry. It's the thing I hate doing the most.
*He watched the kids in Sunday school.
*He stepped up when I needed him to be open with me. I know it can be hard for him when he has to confront me.
*He has been by my side through this ordeal with my parents, praying for everyone involved.
*He protected our family from additional hurt.
I love my husband. I am so grateful for this man.
Anger - In So Many Words
Have any of you written out your anger? The fist-flailing kind?
Yesterday we went to the bank to deposit some money. Our plan was to go buy new sheets afterward at Fred Meyer. We started driving through the parking lot from the bank to Fred Meyer and were following a car similiar to my parents' car. Low and behold, it was them. They were in front of us...the closest we've been to them in 2 weeks. One car length. That's all that separated us from them...physically. They were going to the same store we were. Mark asked me if we should just go or if we should choose a different store. I was torn. I wanted to catch a glimpse of them and maybe hope for some positive reconnections with them, but heart, still hurt, said to go to a different store. So many things were running through my mind. One of them being, if the kids see them and attempt to run to them, what would they do? Would they hurt them by ignoring them or push them away? I couldn't bear for them to hurt my little hearts. My little innocent hearts. I realized how much hurt I have, but I don't know if I have anger. Maybe my anger is my hurt. I don't know. All I could do was cry and let my heart break a little more.
I wish that this whole thing was just some bad dream. Speaking of dreams, I had one last night that involved my mom. We were able to talk. I don't remember what we talked about, but we talked. Though our conversations of late were just about the kids, I miss talking with my mom. I took her off of speed dial for the moment because I didn't want any of those awkward moments. Again, that makes me sad that I can't talk with her. It hurts. This whole thing hurts. When I think that my tears have run dry, more build up. <Sigh> I'm breathing and learning to give it all to God because I can't go through this alone. I wish I didn't have this looming over me. Ugh.
God has a plan and it's greater than mine. He's working on refining me and my attitude. He's showing me what changes I need to make in myself. I can't change anyone, including myself. That's God's deal. He'll work in others, as well as in me. I'm so glad that I have a Dad who truly watches out for his children.