I hear the hum of the refridgerator, the fan in the laundry room, the blast of the heater, and my clicking of the keys beneath my fingertips.  I can even hear my own breathing.  It's calm.  It's peaceful.  It's kind of eerie. 

I yearn for this peace and quiet practically everyday so that I can gather my thoughts and my wits, but yet I miss the chaos of it all.  Wait, did I just say that?!  I suppose I should clarify "chaos."  I want to hear the laughter, the giggles, the singing, the growls of the life in this home.  And yet at the same time, I want to dive into my heart, my soul, and my mind to get a better idea of who God wants me to be. 

I often put my family's needs above my spiritual needs.  But of late, I have discovered that putting their needs in front of my time with God, it's the equivalent of me diving head first into an empty pool with the result of a huge mess that no one should have to clean up.  God doesn't want me to dive into that empty pool.  He wants me to dive into his Word, his loving arms, his everything.  He wants me to take my relationship with him a little bit further.  My eyes are swelling with tears as I realize just how much I need him.  He doesn't NEED me, he WANTS me.  He wants me to put my toes over the edge and dive into a real relationship with hi

Please check out the other FMF messages.  And if you want to join in all you have to do is:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no
backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
 
 
Today is my first Five Minute Friday of the year.  Join the flash mob here.

I'm wondering what the next step is and how I should proceed.  Sometimes the path seems clear, yet often I can't tell my left from my right for fear of making a mistake. 

We get a new beginning every morning we choose to get out of bed.  We get to choose what kind of attitude we're going to display that day.  We choose how we're going to react to the things that cross our path.  We have the opportunity to choose God.

I don't choose him every time.  I choose the world; I choose myself.  How quickly I forget about the blessings he has bestowed upon me, while I crave more.  God gives me the opportunity to choose him.  Sometimes it's blatantly put at my feet and it's easy for me to take it.  Other times, he lays it in front of me and I take the long, meandering path to receive the opportunity he wanted to bless me with at the beginning.

This year, and I hope with some sort of accountability, I will be able to really observe the opportunities he is placing at my feet; to seize them and let him take my hand to walk me through.  I want to walk side-by-side with my God.  Today I am thanking him for the opportunity to choose him.
 
 
Five Minute Friday
I'm linkng up with Lisa-Jo Baker at Gypsy Mama for 5 minute Friday.  Don't forget to do yours and link up 
back to her site.
  5 "simple" minutes of your day to just write about a one word topic.  I say "simple" because sometimes those 5 minutes seemto drag and I'm like, "Uh...what just happend?"  So just let it flow.  Let it be free.  If you only get a few words out, it's okay.  Just write. : )

Quiet

"In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are there.
In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait,
Only for You,'cause I want to know You more;" - Chris Tomlin
Quiet.  I have a difficult time with this word because my thoughts go to God.  "Now wait a minute," you say.  "That's a great thing!"  Well for me it reminds me that I haven't had my quiet time with God in quite some time.  I mean I pray and blog a few verses here and there, but I haven't had that true, quiet time with my God.  I haven't had true relationship with him for a little over a month. 

I have let the enemy come between me and my special time with my Dad.  I let him win when I sunk into myself when my parents walked away. He infiltrated my time and left me empty.  This is the quiet I do not want to be a part of.

God is always there, by my side, waiting for me.  He gently prods me and shows me through others what HE can do when I'm quiet.  I desire that quiet time, but I need to put it back into action.  I can't expect it to just happen.

Will you help me be accountable for my quiet time?
 
 
Five Minute Friday
I'm linkng up with Lisa-Jo Baker at Gypsy Mama for 5 minute Friday.  Don't forget to do yours and link up
back to her site.
  5 "simple" minutes of your day to just write about a one word topic.  I say "simple" because sometimes those 5 minutes seemto drag and I'm like, "Uh...what just happend?"  So just let it flow.  Let it be free.  If you only get a few words out, it's okay.  Just write. : )

I never thought I would actually WELCOME the opportunity to hurt.  Who in their right mind would say, "Thank you for this hurt." ?  Certainly not me.  But I'm changing my mindset today.  I WELCOME the hurt and the pain.  Why?  Because that just makes me cling more to my God for strength and encouragement.  Without this hurt, I would still be where I was several days ago.  I would be "just okay" with my relationships. 

I want more than superficial relationships.  I want to be me.  I want to be WELCOMED with open arms, no strings attached.  I want to say, "This is who I am.  This is me!"   To be WELCOMED is such a fabulous feeling.  There's not jockeying for the spotlight.  There's no pretending.  It's raw.  It's real. How many of you feel WELCOMED in your home, your church, your place of employment?  And if you don't feel WELCOMED would you change yourself to fit the mold or would you become the person God has intended for you to be?   

For myself, I'm going to take this opportunity to WELCOME the hurt so that I can WELCOME the healing.  I'm giving it ALL to God so that I can WELCOME the changing of my heart.  I can't change other people, no matter how hard I try.  If I have expectations of others, I'm going to be disappointed.  If I don't address issues at all or if I don't address them in love, I will be bitter.  If I don't love unconditionally, I will be alone.  So again, I claim my hurt.  I WELCOME it in my life so that I can learn from it and make changes in myself to become a better person.

End 5.